The Definition of Coaching
In my opinion, everyone would benefit from having a life coach. Each of us have goals, visions or dreams that we want to accomplish in life. Some of us do well in identifying what those aspirations are and how to achieve them. Most of us, however, get stuck in the various stages – usually the beginning. We get overwhelmed on where to start or we do not know how to start. And yet, you already have everything you need to be successful. We hear and see the success stories. The woman who started an apparel business out of the trunk of her car. From his garage, a man builds a successful woodworking business. What about the person who lost 125 pounds? Or the young lady that overcame the fear of public speaking? These people had some type of support team or person encouraging them.
Coaching focuses on a person’s possibilities rather than past experiences. Through careful and deliberate conversation, a coach works one-on-one with a person using proven techniques to help un-lock the self-leadership potential in them. Through the process, the client begins to acquire clarity about who they are, what they want to accomplish, where they want to be in the future and why they selected the specific objectives to work on. During the phase of obtaining a specific goal, the coach acts as a facilitator and holds the client accountable. The coaching process takes the client from self-discovery to unlock their potential and breaks down barriers, through self-development into sustained improvement. A coach basically assists the client, through purposeful conversation, to discover their potential to expand their performance. Coaches assist people in learning who they are and what their capabilities are rather than teaching them as an instructor, counselor or mentor.
How Coaching Works
Karen Wise defines coaching as “Coaching is about enabling individuals to make conscious decisions and empowering them to become leaders in their own lives”. I love this definition! As I meandered through my adult life, I picked up tidbits of information regarding techniques and tools they MAY make it possible for me to control my urges and outbursts. It never occurred to me until I met my coach, Sherry, that I not only could control my anxiety, but I could unlock my potential and achieve my ambitions. WOW! This was my breakthrough. Looking back, I don’t remember Sherry spilling all kinds of knowledge and instruction all over me. I remember someone who told me that I had everything I need to succeed already inside me. When I brought up a barrier or fear, we talked about it until I “tamed the lion” and it did not seem so fearful any longer.
Managing anxiety is certainly not like losing weight or obtaining that career goal but the coaching steps work much the same. Remember, coaching enables you to unlock your potential and learn to be a self-leader. Anxiety coaching is (1) understanding who you are, (2) examining your capabilities, (3) setting realistic goals to create an atmosphere more calming and less fearful and finally (4) holding you accountable by supporting you and reminding you that “You got this!”. Do you begin to get the picture of the process? I am not an expert on anxiety in the sense that I have gone to psychology or counseling school and understand the intricate details of how the mind and body work to bring about anxiety disorders. Nor did I study all the psychoanalysis therapies to treat the disorder in the mental illness sense. However, I have fought this fight for over 58 years.
My Coaching Practice
My practice is NOT about telling you how I learned to manage my anxiety; (1) I am a coach and as we learned above, I do not instruct you on what to do, (2) my anxiety is different than yours just as my personalities and characteristics are different and (3) some days I just don’t do that well managing my anxiety. My talents, wonderful qualities and skills are within me but at the end of the day, I have flaws and can be very vulnerable. Today, I am me learning to be OK living in a not so OK world. And that’s OK. I invite you to join my email list and my Facebook group, Healthy Evolutions. My coaching is about giving you the tools to unlock your potential to clear the fear and doubt to make your life how you picture it in your dreams.
As a first step, ask yourself what your triggers are. What happens either in your universe or in your body when you find yourself becoming overwhelmingly anxious? For me, it was caffeine, processed sugar and family drama. Next, what are 2 or 3 steps you can do to remove or lessen these triggers? For me, it was switching to decaf iced tea and substituting fruit for cookies, pies and candy bars. I also put some distance between me and my family for a few years. We communicated in a neutral atmosphere in the beginning, that I had to find out who I was. They were still not supportive, but I did what I had to do for me and it worked. Today, my family and I are very close. We love and support each other in healthy ways. Many years, my friend, many years.