Am I a Caregiver or a Daughter?

It Happened so Suddenly – Becoming a Caregiver

One day, it happened. Without warning and overnight, I moved from being the oldest daughter, so devoted to her mother, to being her caregiver. A big part of my life had been spoiling her, talking on the phone every day, soaking up her guidance and then, swiftly and unexpectedly, I was on the phone with doctors, senior assistance program counselors, and bill collectors trying to clean up the messes and figure out a plan to go forward.

The priority was to get her the best care to keep her as healthy as possible for as long as possible. One day, that became much more of a challenge than I ever expected it could be. I was scared and felt so overwhelmed. I could no longer treat her as my best friend. I could not confide in her regarding this stress, as I did not want to alarm her of the seriousness that we now faced. Sound familiar?

The Emotional Crash

Without consciously realizing it, I began to treat her more like a rebellious teenage daughter than a respected mother. She started to buck my decisions at every turn. It became a struggle and I slowly grew to resent the position I was in, especially since I had 4 other siblings. I bore the weight alone and I begin to fall apart emotionally.

One day, the stress became unbearable, and it happened. It was not pretty. As I raised my voice at her, I watched her small, brittle body slump in her recliner as she fought back tears, not saying a word. At the time, that did not give me any empathy. In my mind, the amount of time and money I was having to put toward her care should be appreciated instead of constantly making things 10 times harder. It was so frustrating.

God showed Us the Way

Back at my home that night, the quiet, stillness after the storm arrived in the middle of the night and I realized what had happened. I was so ashamed. I got out of bed and hit my knees. I cried for a very, long time begging God to forgive me and to show me the way. What happened next was truly a miracle. I got up, sat at my computer and wrote her a letter. My fingers just typed away without planning out each word. It was like ghost writing.

As I looked back at the finished letter, I realized God had dictated the words as He put genuine insight and direction in my heart. The words on the letter was perfect; it told the story, but it needed more. I knew what I needed to do. It had to be a video. The finished video is powerful and has moved my mom and I into a wonderful place in regard to our relationship. This video is a must see for any grown child having to take care of their parents as caregivers. Get your tissues, click the link below and prepare for some incredible insight. All the glory goes to God. He handles our anxiety when we let Him.

Many years, my friend, many years…

Letter from a Daughter to her Elderly Mom Video


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